Friday, February 12, 2010

Is this really happening?

Well, surgery happened, not as expected. There was less disc and herniation and more bone that was pressing the nerve. Mission accomplished though. Doc fixed the pressure on his nerve. It was a long and stressful day, glad I didn't go into work at all. We got up and left by 5:15am. Got home around noon, had some lunch then we both went to bed. Hwas in a lot of pain for the first several days, then started feeling a little better but he still had the nerve pain.

A week later his Mom called, pissed about not having pre or post operation news. I asked him if he wanted me to call his family on the Saturday before surgery, he said he would then never did. Not my fault. But somehow it is. It's my job as a wife I guess. I big fight broke out over IM with me and his brother. Within a day or two the whole family knew. I guess Paul and I are shitty people. All their problems with us came out, dating back to our wedding 4 1/2 years ago. Really? You can't just let it go? I understand there's a communication problem, can't we work on it in the future and let the past be the past? I spoke with his sister Jill a couple days later, she seemed to be upset about the lack of news but not pissed, we talked, everything seemed ok.

Paul had a surgical follow up appointment 2 weeks after surgery. On our way there his mother called. She wants to come over and talk. Great. We go to the appointment. Find out that he's not healing right. The nerves are still reacting from surgery, they should have stopped by now. It's shooting pain down the front of Paul's leg. Not good. Doc gives him steroids and a nerve medication. A heavy duty nerve medication where you have to gradually start it then gradually stop it. Bedrest for 3 days too. Schedule another appointment in 2 weeks.

I leave him at home and head into work. Sometime during the day he decided he didn't want to start bedrest until the next day and went to the bar and got shitfaced. That sure pissed me the hell off. I'm mad, he thinks it's because I have to pick him up at the bar, but it was really because he proceeded to go out and get shitfaced! So in his drunken state he mentions that he told his mother he'd call her back tonight. She wants to come over and talk. I had been thinking about this all day and I don't think this is a good idea. This "talk" will turn into a fight and we don't need the stress. I am 31 weeks pregnant and he's still trying to heal from surgery. I just don't see this as being a good idea. Besides, can't we just move on from all this? Paul made a mistake, he didn't call them about his surgery, he apologized, he can't turn back time. Accept his apology and move on. No sense in beating a dead horse. Agree to work on our relationships and lets just move forward. No sense in compromising my pregnancy and his recovery over this. He called her that night, drunk. He went outside and talked to her so I didn't hear anything. He said he took care of it, whatever that means. There won't be any "talk". Since then the family drama has subsided. Still not really sure what happened there, but I guess it's taken care of so I am letting it go.

My parents have been coming over. We got the spare bedroom cleaned out so we can make it the baby's room. I needed someone to come and get this project going. I knew I wasn't going to do it on my own. That mission got accomplished. They tore down the old border and painted and did a few other things. Dad came by yesterday and cleaned the carpet. It's done! All I need now is forKelly and Bob to bring over Christians furniture. I think they are getting new furniture this weekend for him.

Mom and Dad also got us a high chair from the Amish place in Indiana. It's beautiful!

I am 32.5 weeks now. Only 7 more to go, assuming he stays in until the due date.

I really don't know if that's possible, he's already running out of room! At least it feels that way to me. My friend Mark D took pictures.

That's about it for now. Another post-op follow up next week, we are hoping he can start physical therapy soon!