Thursday, July 28, 2011

At least he's still alive...

These words have been ringing in my head for the past 2 hours. At least he's still alive.I wish I had a more positive blog to write, but I don't. Everytime I go to write a positive blog, seems like something bad happens and takes over the thoughts in my head.

I went out of town over the weekend (hopefully I can blog about that later). The first day I was gone I get a text from BIL.  T got arrested again for trying to pawn stolen property. He was high on heroin. Great.

My cousin has an addiction. It started with pot, then opiates and now he's hooked on heroin. I have known for about a year and 8 months about his heroin addiction. His mother came to me because he needed help and when I talked to him, he confided in me and told me what he was up to. Since then I have not really known how to help him except by encouragement to quit, telling him I am here for him and preaching to him about how it's a bad drug and usually leads to death, my husband has lost many friends to it. I am no doctor or therapist, but I do what I can. I've helped distract him by encouraging him to pursue his music, that music is a much better addiction then drugs. I have told him he can come to me if he needs someone to talk to. I told him he can also confide in Paul. But a drug addiction is a disease. He's told me doesn't want to be an addict, but it's in his brain and this isn't something you can just will your way away from, he needs medical treatment, he needs rehab in a major way or he will die.

Today I was feeding my own addiction.... to facebook and I get an IM from my aunt.

Aunt: Shot in the dark, have you heard from T?
Me: No
Me: When was the last time you heard from him?
Aunt: About a week.
Me: I heard something. I heard he got arrested.
Aunt: When?
Me: I heard it on Friday, that he got arrested for pawning stolen property.
Aunt: Call me.

So I did about 15 minutes later when I was on my lunch break. My information helped her connect the dots and she made some calls. I guess he got arrested again last night for posession of a controlled substance and is in the city's county jail, not a good place. That's when I said, at least he's still alive. I made my aunt cry. But it's true. If he's in jail he's not on the streets shooting up. If he's in jail he's not going to die from heroin.

I told her some things she already knows. Her son needs help. He needs rehab. She's concerned about what people think of her and her family. She thinks she's a bad parent. She thinks she's screwed up. I explained that stuff isn't important right now. What's important is getting T better. That this happens all the time to all kinds of people. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, have a stable household or come from a family of addicts. Sometimes people take a bad path and get hooked and can't find their way back, either mentally or physically. I promised her I would not gossip about her son or her family and I told her that I love them and respect them and I wouldn't do that to them.

People will find out at some point, but it won't be from my lips. I am better than that. I wouldn't do that to people I love, even if they have chosen bad paths. They are still family and they have never wronged me, so I have no reason to disrespect them. Yes, I am blogging about it, but it's what's in my head today. Plus, I am 99% sure none of my family even knows I have a blog. I have no readers anyway.

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