In digging through past events and recent words, I am hurt. I've realized that my family and I are not as important to some people that I wish we were more important to. I always hoped for a stronger bond, but it's simply just not there and will probably never be. I can get over it, accept it and let it go, but others cannot.
The biggest thing I am thankful for this year is an understanding family. I mean that. Things have changed a lot in the past few years, and we had a major change earlier this year when my job cut me back to part time hours and I needed to pick up a 2nd job. I am working at a restaurant. Sure it's not the most glamorous job in the world, but it helps get my bills paid and you know what, I actually like it. I like making a good impression. I like being a part of a good meal with good service and I hope the patrons go home and remember me. I like the social interaction with customers and co-workers. The downfall (which I didn't realize until recently) is that I now have to work holidays. Of course we are closed for the major ones like Thanksgiving and Christmas Day, but this is a choice I made and I need to deal with the fact that I will now be working Christmas Eve.
When my parents stopped hosting Christmas things started to change. Paul and I were running mad on Christmas Day and never got to enjoy it. A few years ago we decided a change needed to be made, that Christmas needs to switch to the next generation, my generation. My parents are the Grandparents now and the holidays need to be about the children like it was for me as a child. We made a switch, my family started doing our festivities on Christmas Eve. Then I find out I will be working dinner service that night. I requested an early shift, but since I am the new guy, I can't be guaranteed to get it and be done by 6.
I spoke with my mother on the topic, she told me to work it out with my sister and that whatever she and I decide would be fine with her and Dad. A small part of me wanted her to just figure this all out for me, but she put it in the hands of my sister and I, where it probably should be anyway.
I was afraid to call my sister. I didn't want to upset her about making another change. But she was understanding. I offered suggestions for alternative plans. She suggested we play it by ear until I know exactly when I will be working. This isn't like us, we are planners (not me and Paul, my family). It's Paul's family that usually makes plans last minute. I guess these tables have turned this year.
Here are some pictures from the weekend.
my neice on Thanksgiving
starting Christmas with my boy
Jesse made his own game
Paul's smoked turkey