Monday, September 22, 2014

Working Mom

Being a Mom isn't easy. Every Mom knows this. Being a working Mom is hard, really, really hard. Last March I took a job that I wanted and desperately needed.

I lost my job the previous October. That job was going downhill anyway, a year and a half earlier my schedule changed to part time. I picked up a waitress job to make up my lost income. Surprisingly, this was a good situation. My once full time job was continuing my insurance and since the waitress job was mostly weekend nights, it gave me extra time with my son. Last July the restaurant closed and my nearly perfect job situation came to an end. I picked up a part time office job. Then in October the company I worked at for 10 years let me go, so I was back to one part time job. I then got another part time job doing Photography, but these 2 jobs weren't getting the bills paid as well, but we were managing. In January of this year, my husband stopped getting work comp checks, so something needed to be done. I started my job search again, in the industry I had been working in for 10 years.

I had several interviews and no job offers that were really worthy, until this one. I now have a great full time job, awesome benefits, paid time off, 401k, good insurance, the works. Only problem, it's 30 miles away in heavy Chicago rush hour traffic. If you've ever been to Chicago during rush hour, you know what I am talking about. Basically, it can take 1-3 hours to get anywhere and no part of driving between 3pm and 6pm is easy. My commute averages between 45 minutes and an hour. I start at 7am and I am done at 4pm, so therefor I am gone from 6am to 5pm, 11 hours a day.

My husband doesn't work, he can't work due to his back injury. He's been a stay at home Dad since he recovered from his last surgery that was in March of 2013. On the outside this seems not far out of the ordinary in this day and age. A child is home with his father, instead of his mother. He's home with a parent. Yes, this is true. But a child has a different bond with his Mother than with his Father. I can't really explain the difference, I just know it's there. Maybe it's because he grew inside of me, maybe it's because a Mother has more nurturing qualities, I'm not sure. Also, my son was small when I was working full time before and was less conscious of my absence on a daily basis. All his needs were being fulfilled. Now, I see my absence effecting him, plus, he tells me. Sometimes before bed he looks at me with his beautiful big blue eyes and says, "Mommy, I don't want you to go to work tomorrow. I want you to wake me up in the morning." When he says this it seriously breaks my heart to pieces. But what can I do? My husband can't work, so I do. I make enough money to get our bills paid. I support my family. I am proud of this accomplishment. Not a lot of families can be supported on one income these days, but I am doing it.

I cherish my evening and weekend time with my family. Sometimes I wish things were different, but this is what it is and this is what it needs to be for now. Paul has some job opportunities on the horizon. I am not sure if anything will pan out or if his body is even capable, we will see how the cards unfold.

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