Thursday, September 16, 2010

Fear... Again

Now I am scared again. Paul's having surgery. I try to stay positive, but sometimes that's hard. I can't be naive and ignore the "what if's". They exist and I have to be prepared if a "what if" actually happens. Aside from all that, I realized I will have to do everything myself while Paul is recovering. He's really stepped up since we got married. I didn't have to do everything for myself anymore. But after surgery, I will be taking care of him, Jesse and the house all by myself. The cooking, the cleaning, the yard work, the shopping, errands. The baby and all that comes with that PLUS assisting Paul get around. Oh yes, lets not for get I have to work 43 hours a week. My parents both work, his parents work. My sister is back in school, his sister has her 2 children and her own problems to deal with. I don't even want to rely on anyone. I want to conquer, but I have a feeling that's unrealistic. But what other choice do I have?

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