I love when he falls asleep in my arms.
My mind is now flooded with thoughts of what lied ahead of us. I've started to think of things I need to do to prepare for this next life changing experience. I have fears, not sure how realistic they really are. I figure if I think the worst will happen, I will be pleasantly surprised when it doesn't. There's also a side of me that thinks positively, but I am trying tnot to be naive and think nothing bad can happen because it can. I hope it doesn't, but it can.
I need to talk to Paul about his wishes if something bad does happen. I need to be prepared. I also need to prepare meals, it will be hard for me taking care of him and Jesse yet still keep the house in some kind of order. If the house is in dissaray, it will be hard for me to make the most effective use of my time. I only have 4 days I am planning on taking off. Obviously the day of surgery, then I will be returning to work the next day, Friday. Paul will be taken care of in the hospital, so I don't want to waste a day off when I know he's being taken care of. He will still be in the hospital on Saturday, so I can use that day to prepare the house for his coming home. He will be released on Sunday or Monday assuming everything goes as planned. I am taking Monday and Tuesday off as well, the rest of the week we have people coming over to help him. The second week I am taking the Wednesday off so I can go with him to the follow up appointment.
I really worry how well I will be able to take care of both Jesse and Paul. Haven't I had enough challenges so far this year? There's got to be more? A few more actually.