Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The time has come

Tomorrow's the big day. I can't really describe how I feel. I have been swamped at work all day and I don't even think I can get done what I need to before 5 o'clock, it's already past 3 and I am sure I will be here late. Then when I go home I have things to do to prepare for tomorrow and I expect I will be up around 4:30, if I get any sleep at all. I need to pack up Jesse for the day as my sister is meeting me at the hospital to take him. Later, my Mom will meet me at the hospital so I don't have to sit and wait alone. I don't know what to expect. Of course the world around me says everything will be fine, but how can you be so sure? I don't want to seem negetive, because that's not my intentions, but I am mentally preparing for the worst, then anything better is just gravy. Right? I have daydreams about this, well they are more like nightmares. I run through the day in my mind through various different scenarios. People probably think I shouldn't do that, that I am just torturing myself. But I know how my mind works and it's something I need to do.

I plan on documenting this. I have not decided if I am going to do videos or stills, but my camera will be there. Hopefully this time I actually use the damn thing, even if the nurses think I am crazy.

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