Reflection

It's that time of year where people think about what they are thankful for. So I am dedicating this blog to that. Since I became a mother, my perspecives have changed, my priorities have changed.

I am thankful for my family. Not my extended family, but the family I got 7 and a half months ago. Before Jesse I never called Paul and I a family, we were a couple, with a dog, snake and a fish. Now we are our own family. Just the word in itself means more to me. Paul and I have a new love between each other and that new love is named Jesse. The bond between us has changed. We have this little person that we made.

I am thankful that Jesse is doing extremely well. In the past few months he's finally been putting on good weight, in fact, he's been exceeding expectations. His development is in the 75th percentile. Before his surgery he was in the 25th percentile. I guess he was having a hard time sucking. At 4 months he started cereal and fruit, which also made a world of difference in his development. He's my little angel, the love of my life. His smile is priceless to me, even if it is a little crooked. Despite our challenges, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. And to think, a few years back I wasn't even 100% that I wanted to become a mother, but now I know this was meant to be.

I am thankful that Paul's recovering from surgery. It's a long road, but at least it's a road we are walking down. Literally walking. I never appreciated the ability to walk until now.

I am thankful we still have a roof over our heads, heat to keep us warm and food in our bellies. This has been rough with the drastic decrease in income, but we still manage to make the ends meet financially. We've had moments that were quite scary, but somehow we were able to do what we needed to do... even if it was at the last possible second.

I am thankful for my family, the people I grew up around this time. My mother and father, sister, aunts, brother in law, etc. They have been an amazing support to us. Through the birth of Jesse, through Jesse's first surgery, through financial troubles, through Paul's pain and surgeries. They really stepped up when others didn't and I don't know how I can ever repay them. Not that they would even expect it. They are totally good like that. I hope I am able to help if any of them are ever in need.

I am thankful for my friends. Not just that I have them, but I am thankful that the negetive ones are disappearing, that old friends are blossoming and for the new friends I have made. Amazing how my life's changes have changed the people around who I have around me. Before Jesse was born I had my "regular" group of friends. After he was born there was an obvious shift. Obvious to me at least. A few friends made some steps back, it surprised me at first, because these were the people I was closest with. Some unexpected people came to light. Then there are the totally new friends that I am still developing relationships with, other Mom's. People I had nothing in common with until I gave birth. The changes aren't bad, in fact, I am pretty cool with it. The people who are currently a big part of my life are the ones that are good for me to have in my life right now.

I am sure there's more to be thankful for. I will probably make a part 2 before Thanksgiving. I am really looking forward to the holiday this year. We will be spending time with the family members mentioned above and I can't wait. There's so much love there and these people are pretty special to me. Paul and I usually alternate Thanksgiving with my family and his. This year was supposed to be with his family, but he won't be able to make the trip to his aunt's. I am glad we are spending this holiday with my family because I need that recharge that only they can give me. The holiday with Paul's family wouldn't be bad, and I am sure Paul wants to spend time with them, but I need this.